RiffCasts

hello american children, i am here to tell you about a man from middle east his name is jihad clause... and this year he is coming to taking your presents. so you had all be not hiding your presents from jihad claus or we are taking your father into the other room and shooting him and taking your sister and making her sewing burkas hey infidels your decadant ways have gone on long enough jihad claus on his donkey shall bomb you into dust Mothers no they not safe either they come and live with us we hide their face and burn with acid until they having enough remember kids when tucking into bed take the bomb put it on your head make it blow the virgins know the meeting you in heaven yu! and you soon youll know the magic of anti semitism those dirty jews with hanukkah we going put them in prison Hey were your turkey i replace with lamb i burning your house i take you presents and with much care shoving them in ass so remember everbody this year while you are feeling blade cutting through your neck, and we hold your head high up in the air with your eyes staring empty at nothing it is because jihad claus is there....

Please listen to this while STONED with headphones on. you'll see what i mean. Thank you.

down neverland ranch lives man sits with children hand in hand until one day he was found out to be sleepin with children in his house take a drink of the jesus juice then take part in child abuse paul mccartney and a monkey will be there we'll sit back and comb elephant mans hair hey kids i built amusement park that's more fun after dark elephants and girraffes lurk there so you'll touch me when you're scared hey ill tuck you in tonight between me and lisa marie's freight we'll make some test tube babies then so the world thinks i am straight again touchin' me more, drivin' me up the wall

Every step we take, is pulled away in this lonely life, in my time of strife and as time goes on, we fade away leaving empty space, leaving no trace see our bodies fall apart one my one like an endless chemistry to which we are bound to rules of physics and reality to lessons of emberassment and futility

I was a young man at the zoo there was a monkey named lulu i saw stroke his dirty shaft i began to quiver and laugh the next thing that i knew i squeezed between the bars to get to lulu 3 years in an insane institute won't stop my ape abuse I'm a monkey toucher im a filthy monkey toucher don't leave me alone or I'll make those apes groan hey monkey I've got something for you some nuts and a bushel of bananas too we can go eat in the back we can pick lice out of your asscrack and this is where my story ends in prison and with no friends that doesn't matter too much when I'm watching apes crunch

beneath the making of a tragedy money changes hands we've paved our destiny with heinous plans beleive what you want and conspire away the truth lays in a fiction caught in a web of tyranny beleive beleive me there is no innocent time there never was as long as humanity is alive we've destroyed outselves and maybe someday we'll realize what we've done standing on a pile of rubble a future of no one

this is dedicated to an old roomate with dependency issues. . . . . mom she does everything for me, she even holds my dick when i pee... it's mom... who do i call when i'm alone? I spend my money on the phone... it's mom.... Hey mom you got some AC? cause it's hard to breathe, and i'm getting hungry can i suck on your teet? can you make me a grilled cheese?... with the kind of cheese i like... fetta.... how come the garbage isn't going anywhere? it just sits beside the stairs... where's mom? where's your arms for when i'm scared? i need your advice for my hair... where's mom??? Last night i put my dick in a guy, maybe it's cause my girlfriend is shy. or maybe it is because i like hot greasy cock, movin around movin around , in my mouth.... i take huge loads on the face gonna rub it into place... with your balls. woke up with some dude spooning me, then we went to take a pee.. golden showers... hey mom i hope you don't find out that i caught HPV from some dude im gonna need medicine soon, to keep my fever down my immunse system is compromised.. from AIDS Dee dee dooo doo LA LA L ALLALALA

High noon with a loaded gun, gonna meet ya in the streets, the boys said we gonna have some fun, bring this town to it's knees, oh lord won't you look at me, cause i fear on this soul, they say miracles ain't free, it's time to face the bulls, Ive got two reasons, for you to not talk to me, holstered on my hip, is your destiny, and just remember this, we won't go easy on you, it's guns blazing, tomorrow at high noon, yeah, i dare you to meet us there, the playing ground is even, but we don't fight fair, Bam bam , two shots gone, udertaker take him away, i can't count on my hands, the amount of men i've slain.

In a world not so fair in a time with war declared amogst the burning bodies lays a saint beneath this steel and rubble life signs so faint and maybe someday again your time will come you'll spread the wings of redemption to which we'll succumb in the concrete jungle we want things that will never come we see our lives pass by and so quickly we are gone and in a flash we all melt away nuclear blast a crater is all that remains this world will never learn.... we fight this war one we'll never win this battle is lost the surrender begins Humanity fails And darkness prevails why did it have to end this way heads bowed down in deathly prayer and now it's the final call won't you saint apocalypse redeem us all? your governing light guides us all children of the mushroom cloud stand deformed and sprawled and this humanities last chance the last one known we disintigrate into to soil our race unknown

(insturmental version)